Day 12 – Velcro Pyjamas and Machine Gun French

As indicated by my last post … my sleep patterns are spiralling way out of control.

I only managed to get some sleep at around 5am – so that meant when I woke at around 9am I felt pretty shitty. I went for a bath as there is no shower here … god I miss having showers. Weird eh … most places I have ever lived in have had just a shower – and thats when I find myself missing baths. And now I only have the bath option so its vice versa. Im also beginning to think that the water is dodgy here – My scalp seems to be flaking and thats never been considered a good look and I have just noticed/felt a bloody spot developing on my nose! WTF! Its like being a teenager again … christ almighty!

Anyway, after I performed all my morning ablutions I felt shattered and ended up lying on top of my bed snoozing. Im gonna have to get my sorry ass shit together before I get another job. Yip! I need to ditch these velcro pyjamas – as is said in some parts of the UK … well actually just in my own head.

I wasn’t that fussed though as the main focus of the day was based around going to see about this language course.

So after I got my shit together I  drove my car to the French/Swiss border … its not far, only about 8miles, but thats far enough when you aint too sure about driving on french road – Driving on there excellent autoroutes is a breeze but in towns – oh no, forget that. It would have been far easier to just drive my car into Geneva but thats quite daunting due to traffic, trams and general swiss wanky driving. Anyway I made it to the border and luckily theres a well placed car park which I took advantage of.

The buses are far more convenient from this point and I hopped on one and in a matter of 25 minute I was at the Bel-Air stop in the centre of the city. A quick wee stroll amongst the living along a shopping area and I find the college. No drama whatsoever. I had a chat with the guy at reception – in English obviously. I think he may be one of these Polyglots or whatever you call them – an Eastern European who can fluently speak shitloads of different languages – they seem to be everywhere. Bastards. No not really … I just jealous.

Anyway the idea of all of this was for me to attend a class just to see what kind of level I should start on. The class I attended was ok – in fact it was great. Complete immersion in French but its just SO fast … like a machine gun Rat-Rat-Rat in my ears. Fuck it, Im going to have to get to grips with it eventually. I was familiar with nearly all the words said but it was just getting the time to strip them out then work out the verb conjugations then blah blah blah. When a sentence is spoken it takes me 2 mins to fathom it – Trouble is they say another 20 sentences in that time.

I managed to mask my utter ineptness and think they all thought I was just an average homosapien … and I didn’t feel that too out of place but I remembered how much I hate classroom based education. Ho Hum. BUT its a necessary thing and blow down if I didn’t just scoot along to the reception area and sign on the dotted line for the course. I don’t particularly wish to ponder any more on it – Im doing it and thats it.


So I got the bus back then I drove my car back and then I managed to cadge some free couscous and vegetables that my landlord had taken from his works canteen. Fuck me if it didn’t taste exactly like the stuff I use to make in my previous role … yeah … remember … I was a normal once … part of the party.

Im leaving it at that for now.

My mood???? … I feel nothing … just blank.


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