Days 13 through 18
5 days since I last updated this blog.
Why … well to be honest things kind of got a wee bit on top of me and I was sort of staying out of my apartment as much as possible … so getting wifi reception was not possible.
Its strange but I always feel like that … you know, that urge of “Jesus! if I remain within these 4 walls for any longer I will scream”. And I truly felt like that … I was even beginning to feel sick to the pit of my stomach whenever I started to make my way ‘Home’.
I keep getting flashes of what may become of me, heres what I see …
A man. Middle aged. Sitting on his own. In either a greasy spoon or Starbucks situated in a nameless, faceless european town. Feigning interest in a newspaper or a book. Sipping on the cheapest coffee or tea he can buy. Watching people. Watching how they live. Watching how they move amongst eachother. Just waiting for the time for him to be moved out because the need to close the premises. Steeling himself for the long walk to the lonely bed. Steeling himself for tomorrow where the same lies in wait for him.
Phew! … Pretty fucking awful eh! But there you go.
I am always reminded of a line written by Mark Eitzel while he was in The American Music Club …
A quiet man, sits quietly, learning his lesson.
The long, slow, smooth wheel of disintegration.
That Eitzel guy has got me down to a tee.
American Music Club were the best thing to ever come out of America.