So its day 27 of this peculiar experiment.
I remember staring at the rafters of my apartment as I lay in bed at 4.30am this morning having had no sleep. The next thing I know I am being awoken by a banging at my door. I looked at the clock and it was 8.30 am. Who in the name of christ is at the door at this time … the banging stopped just as I was rising up to answer it. I could have rushed and still caught who had been there. But what was the point? … It was either a mistaken address, some door to door selling or the devil himself. I wonder if he communicates in French?
Instead of going back to sleep and letting the ‘meanies’ settle in I quickly got dressed and drove my car to the nearby town to see if the CV passages had been translated by that bloke. Luckily he had finished them the night before. So he went through them with me and we also discussed french paying particular attention to the ridiculous past subjunctive. He is a really nice old bloke … lots of character … lots of stories. I could have sat there in his flat all day just talking.
I was actually dreading leaving – loneliness has got me in a real tight bind at the moment.
After I left him I should have really got back and started laying out my cv … but I couldnt face it.
I drove to a car park and got the bus into Geneva.
I randomly walked around for a few hours past the shops decked out in their xmas garb, past the cafes with couples sitting outside, over the bridges past the international banks and finally sat down on a bench at a market that was starting to wind down by this time.
I saw the immigrants – walking around in groups, in pairs and sometimes alone. Greeks, Romany, Africans & Far Eastern Europeans. They milled around me casually … why wouldnt they? … I am, after all, of their ilk. Another skill free wetback caught up in the interzone.
I managed to pick up 2 heads of broccoli and a large cabbage very cheaply from a stall. I made my way back and prepared my food for the next two days …
Its amazing how you can survive on next to no money at all.
Things settled slightly within me and I answered a couple of comments on this blog (which kind of helped attain some peace) In fact they have made me think about why I blog …I really need to get my thoughts straight about it and post them.
I read some of the Arthur C Clarke book I downloaded and it pulled me in good and proper … just what I needed.
And what now … Im listening to French Culture Radio while typing this and wondering about how some people make it and some people dont.
I want to leave with a poem now –
tonight this room is smoky
and I am alone
listening to the silence.
I am tired of waiting on life,
it was so slow to arrive and so quick to leave.
the streets and the cities are empty,
love is on the damned cross
and death laughs in the back room.
at the edge, the edge, the edge.